Musings from a rainy day

13 years ago I sat in my before school program as the television demanded our attention from the back of the room. What was happening to that building? Why did my teacher look so panicked.

The replay showed what I will never remove from my memory, as 9/11 unfolded before public television. 

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My mom loves U2. One day the song Sunday Bloody Sunday played through the cars speaker system. Mom why is it a Bloody Sunday? Why is there broken bottles under children's feet? 

That song made me realize war as a terrifying reality. "Oh how long must we sing this song."

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Musings:

There is no way to play hide and seek with the battle between light and darkness. You are either scarred by it, or you're blind to it. The only antidote to ignorance is exposure to the darkness jolting you out of your pretend light. 

The darkness knocked the breathe out of me, forcing me to cling to the sweet oxygen of light, reviving with the sweet fragrance of purity. With the smell lingering from the light, I still know that darkness is a present truth. 

Sweetly fading sentiment belligerently wage against fragments of truth breaking through the sophistry of my facade. Learning to accept bitterness and sorrow as the main characters to the backdrop of the mirage of perfection. 

Fiction has taught me to except pain, or rather detest the fallacy of all things tinted rose. There is no glasses that can fit the ridge of the realist I have become. 

The glass is half empty, but a day will come where it will be fully full.  

-Marina

Joys, Sorrows, & Lessons. Greece Post 9

This will be my last blog post from Greece. Sunday morning we leave Leptokarya to take a 7 hour bus to Athens. From Athens we fly to Amsterdam and spend the night. Monday from Amsterdam we fly to Chicago arriving at O'Hare around 2pm.

While in many ways I don't understand my experience here are a few joys, sorrows, and lessons in relation to my leaving Greece:

Joys about returning to America:
Returning to the Sunday night prayer gathering at Moody
Flushing toilet paper
My Ukulele
Good black coffee
Fresh air non-second hand smoke infused
Internet on my phone
Understanding what people are saying
Going to my church
Drying clothes in a drier

Sorrows about leaving Greece:
Not hearing the Greek language
No more Cappucino Freddos
No more (good) Souvlaki
Not being near the Sea
No more stumbling over ruins
No more gelato
No more white houses with blue trim
No more bakeries
No more quiet hours (aka nap time)
No more (socially accpeted) olive oil on everything
Not knowing when/if I will be back
Saying difficult goodbyes

Lessons I have learned:
Daily learning who God is
What it means to live in simplicity
To learn you have to take risks
How much I appreciate Moody
God is faithful
All that God does is beautiful
The power of prayer
In Him we live and move and have our being


So long lovely land

Break My Heart. Greece Post 8

September 23-29 Ministry Week
This trip I have often been praying, "Break my heart for what breaks Yours." God answered my prayer by daily opening my eyes, splitting my heart, tearing my comfortable known world and showing me the injustice that has began to abound in His world. Our group was split into three focus groups; sex trafficking, TESOL, and evangelism. I was in the prayer for those in sex trafficking group.

Monday: We worked with a ministry that goes to the brothels in Athens and talks with the women and creates relationships with them. They offer their help, guided by the love of God, to these women in extreme compassion. As we reached the ministry we were informed that there were over 200 brothels within a 1km radius of the very building we were in at that moment. Prostitution is legal in Greece, and is seen as a part of society. Our purpose of the day was to walk through brothel row and pray. We left the building, and after a two minute walk, I saw the first light. It hung dimly above a door. It looked normal. Then I saw the next, and the next, soon they were on both sides. My stomach sank. I was sick beyond my own understanding. Frozen. Tears were filling my eyes as I thought that there were girls, no different from me, on the other side of that door whose vulnerability has been tainted. And here I was. Free.
We went back to the room were we talked about what we experience. I conveyed my anger, sadness, and confusion. The leader of this group then spoke truth that is still ringing in my mind. "Our God is Holy and just. If you feel this way, imagine how He feels." God hates sin and he hates to see his creation in this position. He is Holy and just and will redeem.

Tuesday: We went in smaller groups of 5 to Christian refugees house, encouraging them and praying for them. It was humbling to see 10 people crammed into a small house where they all lived, and yet they extending their hospitality.

Wednesday: There was a prayer walk for a neighborhood in Greece. It is known for being the most populated region of Athens, yet there is only one known Christian family. We prayed in pairs for God to bring salvation to the land, and that the streets would declare His glory.

Thursday: A group of us went to a worship service of a ministry, then got to join them in their outreach to drug addicts. I have never been exposed to something like this and honestly it was haunting. I saw images I will never un-see, and the Lord definitely broke my heart yet again. The factor that struck me the most were the volunteers of the ministry. They looked at these drug addicts with such compassion that pierced my fear. I later found out that a majority of the people volunteering were saved by this very ministry. One man had been off of the streets for 1 month and 5 days, and each day was counted as a success. All he wanted to do was tell those stuck in the very sin he was entangled in of the freedom in Christ

Friday: Rest Day

Saturday: We helped with a Kids Fest to reach out to the same community we prayed for on Wednesday. I was with the Face Painting group. That night I turned girls into kitties and princesses, and boys into superheroes.

Sunday: I woke up early, and since it was my last full day in Athens, I set out. I went to one of the Squares, and sat. I then heard singing. It was coming from a small Orthodox church near me. It sounded like the service had already started, but I entered. Idols and incense clouded my vision. I sat in one of the chairs, the only one under the age of 40 there. I watched as the attendees kissed the pictures, lit candles, and made the sign of the cross. This felt like a Holy place. As C.S. Lewis says in Till We Have Faces, "Why must holy places be dark places." This was dark. In my mind I pictured Jesus shouting "LOOK AT ME!!! LOOK AT ME!!!" Yet, they looked to Paul and Mary.

Greece, you break my heart.
I have learned that while this land is beautiful, it's just a shadow. It's a mirage. From the distance it's wonderful and perfect, as soon as you go to touch it and experience it, it vanishes. What you are left is dry dirt. Dirt. Tainted Sand.
God redeem Your land. Amen.

So long home. Greece Post 7

It's amazing how in a matter of 8 weeks Pikermi, Greece has become home. I have learned what to buy from the store, what trees have the best figs, what to order at the local cafe, what routes to go on a run, what bus to take to get to Athens, and so much more. However, now home is being uprooted and this week has had a lot of lasts.


Last run up the hill.

Last time climbing the fig tree.

Last time sitting on the roof gazing at the stars.

Last time walking to Cafe Veneti for rose cookies and an espresso freddo.

Last time sitting in the green chapel.

Last time waking up to the smell of fresh bread.

Last time sitting on the ledge near the gate watching sunrise


I knew going into this trip that we would only be at Greek Bible College during the beginning of the trip, yet this change is startling. We pack our bags, trinkets, and memories up and set out again.

Tomorrow we leave to stay in a hotel in Athens for nine days while we have a ministry week. After that we are touring Turkey, going to the churches mentioned in Revelation. Lastly, we will be finishing the trip as we stay at a camp near Thessaloniki.

I have been loving Greece, and I know it's only a matter of time before I come back. Now I hope that I can cherish every moment that I have left here.

So long Pikermi, sweet, Pikermi. It's time to continue the adventures

Mykonos. Greece post 6

This past weekend we went to Mykonos. While this island is known for it's raging parties, we were there for the thrill of a new land. For me, there is something oddly intoxicating in adventure. It lures me in with the unknown.

We rented ATVs and zipped around the land. Without a goal, we landed on the terrain of an abandoned lighthouse. 

Rolling hills, white houses, blue trim and ever present sea greeted us at every turn. 

 Mid-day we stopped at a bakery, and sat by the bay with our espresso freddos.

The next endeavor included a beach with water like crystal. 

Night rides on the ATVs, resulting in a flat tire at 11pm. 

Little Venice windmills

Sunrise, moonset

Hostel bungalow

Paradise

So long Mykonos

See this video for more info of the weekend: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRJq8OIW43A&list=UU8RpZY-VQmXj3XNpVWTyGkQ

Good.

"How are you"
"I'm good."
"Okay... how about you give me at least two sentences on how you really are."
"Well actually....."

The girls small group here in Greece met yesterday on the roof of our college. 10 of the 22 girls were there, allowing everyone to speak. I asked the girls to tell me how they were doing, to which a simple "good, good, good" was heard. I then charged them to explain at least two complete thoughts on how they were doing. Once again we went around the circle. All started with, "I'm good, but...." then went into what would throw anyone into a tizzy, revealing that they weren't really good.

Why do we say we are good? What is good?
Are we really good? Or is it God who is good?

Cognitively, I think we all understand that God is good. I often don't believe it or see it. I look and ask God, how can this be good? What is good in this? What does good look like in this situation? God in His definition is benevolent. I don't understand goodness.
In reality, there is nothing good about me. I'm not good, but God is good.
While it feels like the ground beneath my feet is shattering, and I'm learning hundreds of things a day, and I don't know what to focus on, and I don't know what I will do after this trip, and I don't know what the heck I'm going to do with my life, God is good.
While all is crumbling, glorious, decent, or sorrowful, God is good. While I can lie about my emotions, and hide things in truth I can say God is good.

I'm not good, but God is good.

Introvert. Greece Post 5

I'm a surprising introvert. When I explain to people the necessity of my alone time, it often shocks those who are aware of my outgoing nature. Yesterday I got the escape I desperately needed.

I was planning on meeting a friend of a friend to go to there house. We were meeting at one of the squares downtown in the evening. I decided that after lunch I would go downtown, and find a place to do homework. I took the 314 bus at 15:20 down to Doukissis Plakentias, from there I rode the blue line to Monastiraki.

By 16:10 I was off, roaming the Greek city streets. My first stop was Mars Hill. I trekked up the what seems forever uphill streets, beneath the shadow of the Acropolis. Once climbing the marble steps up the hill, I found a rock to sit on. I then began reading Acts 17.

Sermon on Mars Hill 

22 So Paul stood in the midst of the Areopagus and said, “Men of Athens, I observe that you are very religious in all respects. 23 For while I was passing through and examining the objects of your worship, I also found an altar with this inscription, ‘TO AN UNKNOWN GOD.’ Therefore what you worship in ignorance, this I proclaim to you. 24 The God who made the world and all things in it, since He is Lord of heaven and earth, does not dwell in temples made with hands; 25 nor is He served by human hands, as though He needed anything, since He Himself gives to all people life and breath and all things; 26 and He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined their appointed times and the boundaries of their habitation, 27 that they would seek God, if perhaps they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us;28 for in Him we live and move and exist, as even some of your own poets have said, ‘For we also are His children.’ 29 Being then the children of God, we ought not to think that the Divine Nature is like gold or silver or stone, an image formed by the art and thought of man.30 Therefore having overlooked the times of ignorance, God is now declaring to men that all people everywhere should repent, 31 because He has fixed a day in which He will judge the world in righteousness through a Man whom He has appointed, having furnished proof to all men by raising Him from the dead.”

32 Now when they heard of the resurrection of the dead, some began to sneer, but others said, “We shall hear you again concerning this.” 33 So Paul went out of their midst. 34 But some men joined him and believed, among whom also were Dionysius the Areopagite and a woman named Damaris and others with them."

The second day of our trip, one of our professors read this passage to us. Yet after almost a month in Athens I felt the weight of Paul's words. I have seen the temple, the religiosity, and many of the things that were spoken about nearly 2000 years ago.

Once collecting myself I continued onto the next adventure, finding my new friends. I waited for nearly 30 minutes, to later find out I was standing in the wrong spot. While my plans were soon uprooted I decided to continue on in my Athens story. I wandered the streets for over two hours in pursuit of new things. There I saw the sun set over the ruins while the sound of someone playing guitar filled my ears. My night concluded with a train and bus ride back.

I arrived back on campus refreshed, renewed, and reawakened to my purpose for being here.
While I walked around Athens I was convicted of my lackluster attempts at learning. I have been given the privileged of loving languages, yet my effort has not demonstrated what I have been given. I have set goals to be multi-lingual. In thought, it would be ideal to be fluent in; Spanish, Portuguese, Greek, French, and Italian. When walking around Athens I heard a multitude of languages. My limited knowledge allowed me to identify the origin without being able to convey any of this knowledge back to the travelers. While I have a mediocre understanding of 3 out of 5, I have been called to more than mediocre.

Once again, I claim my lack of understanding, yet I claim the blessing of the pursuit of wisdom and truth.

Proverbs 23:12 

"Apply your heart to discipline
And your ears to words of knowledge."